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My Favorite Mottos

There is no such thing as “can’t”.  It is either “I don’t want to” or “I need help”.

This is one that I quote all the time. When I first started schooling or probably even before that, I realized something. Whenever the kids were saying “I can’t”  it was usually followed with a temper, an explosion of anger. That’s when I first starting making this quote up. I knew when they COULD do something but didn’t want to, I would tell you “yes you can”. Or if they truly needed help then I reminded them that I am here to help you just have to ask.  I am hoping after quoting this constantly for 5 or so yrs now that it will sink in. I am hoping that by the time they are teenagers or young adults that this will have sunk into their brain and maybe make life a little easier.

I can’t magically make ???? appear

My children are stubborn. They get it from their father 😉  I genuinely hate when they are being stubborn, and throwing a fit over something I can’t fix or change. Like if we run out of cereal before the last child has a chance to eat. I’m sorry I can’t make cereal magically appear on the table. Or when a pair of pants is discovered too small and they want new pants RIGHT NOW. I am sorry I can’t magically make pants appear. It is not possible for me to run out either and just buy stuff for them.  Or the other thing is when something is not working. I can’t magically make something work. Sure I can try to make it work and fiddle around with stuff but it”s beyond my control I can’t magically make it work.  Life lesson -sometimes we have to do without. It sucks and not very nice but that’s life.

Live and Learn

This one is mostly for my Hubby and I.  Now that we are adrift and trying to anchor our feet down some I am finding I am using this one more.  You hang around someone thinking they are your friend, only to realize you don’t want them around anymore. Live and learn. You realize you overspend on something. Live and learn so next time, or even as an example to your kids, you’ll know not to spend.  I hope too that I can start using this one on the kids.  For how else are we to learn from our mistakes if we don’t go out and live life!  Life is like education -you gotta do something in order for you to observe the knowledge that’s out there. Sometimes/mostly it’s bad but there are a lot of good out there too.

Homeschool is an extension of our parenting


This one I use constantly when talking about our children’s education choices.  When we first had my daughter it was understood between my husband and I that I would stay-at-home and raise the. Then when she hit 5 I realized that I had to make a decision regarding her schooling. Now I think I have always been drawn to big public school like classrooms. I wanted that in my own home -chalkboards and posters, arts, crafts the works. A big room just for school also filled with books (still waiting on this dream to come 😉  ) But when push came to shove I realized I wasn’t ready to let my little 5/6 yr. old girl go out into the big wide world of school and I still wanted her home with me. I realized that as they all got older – that education is so much more then academics, it is about life skills. Plus they way Hubby and I want to raise our children and what we want to teach them differs from public school.  Homeschooling was never a choice really, it was just an extension of our parenting.

Finally, The Right Bible

Since I left an occult- like independent Baptist church back in Oct I have been looking for a Bible to read.  I was KJV only for so long that that was all I knew. But it felt like anytime I would open the KJV that the only words I would hear would be the Pastor’s telling me what to believe. I felt I wasn’t hearing God.

So I started searching. I found an NIV, and an ESV. The ESV one I use for my Child-Training Bible.  However, I was not up to debate KJV-only vs. other version and so I couldn’t quite feel comfortable reading other versions. Plus anytime I would start to read any version I would start to feel conviction. I KNEW what the Bible says having had it pounded into me for so long and I was tired of being made to feel wrong. I wanted God’s Love. At this point in my life I NEEDED and craved God’s love. SO I kept searching for a Bible that would show me God’s love. That would soothe my wounded soul. That wouldn’t just point out my sins and short comings but show me that God loves his child.

I finally found it! I found the Bible that I can sit and read and enjoy the Words of God.! It is a child’s Bible called The Wonder Bible!

 

The insert tells us :”Children first learn to “Taste and see that the Lord is Good” in bright, engaging children’s story Bibles. But what happens when they outgrow their simple picture Bibles? What happens when they hunger to know more about God’s promises, people, and plans? Most often, we expect them to jump immediately to a full-text Bible.”

This Bible has been abridged from 800,000 word text to about 130,000 words written as more of a storybook. And that is why I like it. It reads like a storybook yet has enough meat to hear God speaking to you.

THANK YOU LORD FOR BRINGING ME A BIBLE. THANK YOU LORD FOR GIVING ME A BIBLE THAT I MAY READ ABOUT YOU AND YOUR LOVE. THANK YOU FOR TAKING CARE OF ME ALWAYS 🙂

 

What is Success?

A few weeks ago I had a conversation with a friend. She was taking about her in-law’s family. Their 5th boy had a “shotgun” marriage. He had fallen in love with a girl, ended up getting her pregnant, and because of circumstances, had to get married right away.  My first thought was “they (the parents) weren’t very successful in raising their kids right.”

Which really got me thinking : what is success?

Wikipedia says this:

Success may refer to:

The dictionary describes it as :

1.the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.
2.the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.
3.a successful  performance or achievement:
4.a person or thing that is successful
5.Obsolete . outcome.
Synonyms   achievement, fame, triumph.
SO let’s ask again : when it comes to raising children, how do we know we are successful??
How does each family raise their children to be successful. The above family was not successful in teaching moral purity and abstaining/keeping ones self to marriage. Yet each of the children (save one) all have wonderful spouses and partners. Each and every child was taught to think for himself/herself and all have good paying jobs.  But they are just one family.  Another family that I knew of was very religious, was in fact an independent Baptist family. The lived, breathed, ate the Bible, yet only 1 of the 4 children have a success home life. Another has a good Christian facade but the children are way too sheltered (yes there is a thing as sheltering your children too much). and we won’t even talk about the mess the other 2 children made.
Kinda makes you think doesn’t it?  What is success??  Is it knowing the Bible? Is it living the law of the Bible? Is it getting a good job? Is it being dept free? Is it? Is it? Is it? I think a better question would be : What do I want for my children? How do I train my children to be successful?  Okay that is two questions. 2 excellent questions and ones I can answer!
  1. I want my children to think! Sounds funny but I want my children to be free-thinkers, to step outside the box and learn things on their own. I want them to make their own decisions. I want them to find God or rather have God find them on God’s own time.
  2. I want my children to have good jobs. Not the necessarily the highest paying job but a job they can love (or at least like). A job that will pay bills and have a bit over to spend.
  3. I want my children to find love. This one may be the toughest. What if they find someone that I don’t like :O I will have to remind myself that I am not marrying that person 🙂  What if they “fall out” of love later on during the relationship? I will have to remind myself to have grace during that period. I really want my children to have what my hubby and I have found -a best friend who I want to spend all my time with. A best friend who I can argue with but know that making up after will be bittersweet.
  4. I want my children to be kind and to look after others. I think this is important in this world. I don’t want them to be pushovers (see #1( but I do want them to speak in kindness, and gentleness. I want them to go out and about and have a smile always ready on their lips.

Those are a few of the things I want my children to be and do. My children are young and some things may come up later (sexual purity) but those my hubby and  I have discussed to be used for later conversations with the children.

Thank you for taking the time to listen to my ramblings 🙂  🙂
***linked up with : Unveiled Wife ,

 

4 Weeks to a new me

Week 3′s Challenge:
Purpose to not read ANYTHING else before you have read God’s word for at least 1 minute in the morning. Do not read the newspaper, facebook, a spiritual devotional or check your email. Go straight to God’s word first. And in case you think 1 minute seems a bit stingy with our time – I want to suggest – that once you get started most likely you will go for much longer than 1 minute. But I want this to be doable. After reading your Bible, I encourage you to leave your Bible in the kitchen open and everytime you walk past it, pause to read it for 15 seconds and then go on. Squeeze all the nourishment you can out of the scriptures you are reading.

This may be the hardest post I write. I want to be honest. I want to share with you my dilemma.

Let me start with a story. Once upon a long time ago there lived a lost adolescent girl.  That girl was me.  Her mother took her to the “true” Baptist church in town. The girl hated it. She liked pants but her mother was “convicted” to be skirts only.  The teenage girl liked worldly music but that was from the devil. The teenage girl like public school but her mother was convinced that she must homeschool and therefore put her into the church school. Remeber: I was lost, angry, and mother and I had major issues to begin with.

So from the ages of 12-17 I was rebellious. I hated my life and made sure everyone knew it. Then the month that right before I was 17, God saved me. God reached down and touch my lost soul. God replaced my cold,angry, black heart with a heart of love, peace and forgiveness.  I was able to love for the first time. I was able to really smile and enjoy life. I wanted to be good and to do good. I wanted to please my Lord and Savior.

When I was 20, I married my best friend. He also attended this church and we knew each other since like forever 🙂 Our parents were best friends (still are) and our families were always together on holidays, and even regular days.  My mom didn’t like him because he was open-minded( he would speak his mind), opinionated, and didn’t listen a.k.a. bow down to her.  He also wasn’t the “perfect” Christian she thought I should marry (another story right there) But we married anyway.

Then came the next 10 years of married life, 3 children  in a row, and reality. I was content to live a Christian life. I wanted to do good and follow the rules.

Let me explain a bit about the church before continuing with my story.. The church is an independent, fundamental, baptist church, otherwise know as a cult. Yes, I said it. It is a cult.  It was founded 20+ years ago with the purest intents but has morphed into something different. You get baptist to become a member. And member you are in the fullest sense. They say they have no rules but there are. There are the articles of faith, and the covenant they have as a church. It is the way everyone looks at you when you do something different from the other. It is skirts only and woe is you if you are feel that wearing pants is okay. If you don’t put your kids in the church school they will have nothing to do with you. They have an inside circle and woe is you if you are not fully part of them. If you speak up and out against anything then yo, yourself must not be right. Cause everyone else believes it why don’t you.

Anyway you get the point. My husband is not a Christian. There I said it. I finally let the world know.  And for 10 years he has tried to hide that fact. Why? My hubby loves me fully. He wanted me to be happy. And I was ignorantly happy in the church. I wanted to wear skirts and be happy. I wanted people to like me and forgave them when they hurt me. I wanted to please God and felt this was the only way how. I have shed many, many tears because of  that church tried to mold my family into something that it was not. Anytime I wanted godly council for the pastor all I got was how bad my hubby was and *I* should be more spiritual and take away all the evil from my home (evil being movies and the internet) Finally it all came to a head when the pastor asked/told me “God or your husband”. I was floored. I truly felt that God gave me my husband, Yes my husband my not be a Christian but he loves me, works hard to provide me material things, and actually wants to spend time with me!! I am truly, truly blessed having such a wonderful Husband!!

So we left that church. We are now blackballed, and ex-communicated from our family. Our family thinks that church discipline works and must have “no fellowship” with us. Yea, that’s another story too.

I wrote you my story because of the challenge this week: to read the word of God. I did the Study of Eph with Good Morning Girls and it was a balm to my soul. Hubby doesn’t want me to go back to church, any church right now. And quite frankly neither do I. I am scared to go back into that world even knowing it will vastly different then the Baptist cult.  I was a KJV only girl and have always enjoyed reading it. Now I am scared. I am scared of what I’ll find. I am scared that I will read it and only be able to see what I have been taught for the last 18yrs and not what God would have me see. I am thinking of switching versions. I have a wonderful friend who I met through the baptist church. She too has left and is now going to a wonderful church where she can be herself. She uses a different version and is trying to convince me it is okay  😀

SO I think my challenge for this week is to get me another Bible. I also have a few daily devotion books, and “The One Year Bible” (KJV) broken into daily scripture. Maybe I just need to start praying again. I know God hasn’t left me.

Thank you for reading about my story, my dilemma, my conflict.   🙂

My Best Friend 2

who is my best friend? My Hubby

PART 2 . Part 1 is written here

Eph. 5: 22-33Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

I love color coding. It brings out so much:

  • green – two shall become one
  • blue – husbands are supposed to LOVE their wives
  • red – wives are to submit yet reverence/respect their husbands

Today, however, I want to talk about the HEAD OF THE HOME.  As Christians we tend to throw that phrase around lots. The Husband is to be the head or leader or commander of the house.  We, as wives, are equal to him but everything rests on his shoulders.  I thought that same way for 9 yrs or more. I have always came back with “well you’re the head” -all in a happy tone, truly!! 🙂

Then one day my sweet Hubby told me “I don’t like that phrase -head of the home. We are a partnership”  My mouth dropped whaaaaat?? This was the weirdest “Bible problem” to be had  in our house.  My hubby didn’t like being head or leadership , he looked at us together and saw that we ought to do things and make decisions together!!

This shouldn’t surprise me though. Even when we were courting He was very much “what do you want, where do you want to go” kinda guy. Still is. Most decisions have always been with Him asking Me. I told him my ideas, plans, thoughts, then we act together. A few times he would tease about not buying something cause I talked him out of it. (this is a good thing).

My Hubby loves me. He shows me every day. He is definitely NOT romantic, never any flowers or cards, but always lots of smiles,hugs, and touches. He enjoys my company! I in turn try to reverence/respect him. I may not keep the cleanest house but I stay home and raise his kids. I have hot meals ready for him when he walks in the door. Our relationship works cause we want to please the other. SO it should only be natural that we work together to be one. That we work together to make decisions that we both want. yes, it’s give and take sometimes. I want something so he finds a way to get it, or he wants to do something so I let him 🙂

Just recently I was in a conundrum. He wanted to take me to Cuba! My heart stopped. we have financial problems and Cuba is not on the list.

Cold/level-headed me : what you are insane! we are not going to Cuba, we are paying bills and blah blah blah
sweet/submissive/Christian me: wow. when does a hubby come home and say “let’s go to Cuba” I should really just submit to him”

SO what do I do? First I kinda brought up some thoughts with him. Then I phoned a girl- friend and freaked out at her. After talking with her I combined both earlier responses -I talked ,nicely,  to my Hubby. We were at the park watching kids play. I told him that I loved him and would love to go to Cuba but… And the best thing about my Hubby is that he had those same concerns. And wasn’t about to throw caution to the wind just cause.  Whew a load off my back. So I have no idea if we are going to Cuba but at lest we talked about our problems and how much we would love to go except for all the “buts” in the way 🙂

Anyway, my hubby and I have come to a silent agreement. No more heads, no more one person leading but together as a team we will raise our kids, sink or swim, and love each other more. We will strive to please the other. We will strive to forgive (sometimes more then possible;) ). We will fight to always stay together!! we are Best Friends!!!!!!!

 Quebec Trip -2009

 

 

 

 

****linked up to GOOD MORNING GIRLSINTERNET CAFE  MY DAILY WALK,   WOMEN LIVING WELL ,and  MOM’S MUSTARD SEEDS ***

My Best Friend

Who is my best friend? My Hubby!!

I see so many family’s crumbling apart. I see so many partners treat their spouses like pets -they are nice to have, to hold, to take out but to have a soul connection it’s just not there. I have seen wives treat their husbands like dirt cause they don’t live up to the wives standard of thinking or being a good “Christian” man. I have seen husbands treat wives like they were property. And it sickens me. It sickens my hubby. It makes me sad that 2 people came together but are not really all that connected.

Hubby and I had a conversation that went like this :

Him “what happens in a year or more when you are sick of this lifestyle?” *he is currently NOT a Christian man*

Me after a pause ” you are more then just my Hubby, you are my friend, my lover, but most of all my companion!”

And I meant it. That conversation got me thinking. Sat night we sat around our fire pit outside at 10 o’clock talking for an hour.  That got me thinking too. Hubby always says we have something unique, something most couples don’t have.  We have a FRIENDSHIP!! We have a friendship that goes beyond our husband/wife relationship. We enjoy each others company! We talk, laugh, and occasionally argue together.

Are you friends with you hubby? Do you prefer his company above all else? Is your hubby best friends with you? Does he prefer your company above all?

A few weeks ago my hubby came home after a few hours out with the guys. He told me that he just wanted to come home and be with me. Now, I have low self-esteem issues(that I am working on) and so was floored. He really, truly wanted to spend more time with me then with his guy friends.!!?! I felt loved!! I felt honored!! I felt cherished that day!!

Now my Hubby and I have our good times but we also have our bad times. We went through the honeymoon stage -the non-maturity part and having to grow up now kinda stage. We went through 3 kids in 3 yrs which I am so surprised he didn’t cheat on me (my deepest regrets but I was exhausted most of the time). We went my “super religious”  phase were I got council form a man who was totally different then my hubby and well let’s just say that was a mess. I told you some of our troubles to let you know you that through it all we wanted to be together -Hubby and I. We made it work cause we loved each other and were stubborn enough to say “I will not let my marriage fall apart”. I have always been thankful that when He was down, I was up and when I was down He was up. Neither of us went down together!!

This latest crises brought us closer together. We had to separate from family and friends we knew our whole lives. This is a bit of what brought about my depression yet through it all, it has made us closer. We are a family and we are going to be a close-knit family!! 🙂  🙂 I thank the Lord every day that I have a husband, a friend, a lover, and a companion. I am so thankfully, that even though He may be a “heathen” man and non-religious, He is a good provider, hard worker, and someone who loves me for me! Someone who sees past the outward me and sees the everyday me!! I am so thankful we can talk, argue, and be ourselves without worry.

I love my best friend!! Do you??  Good Morning Girls had an excellent topic about this. About being a joyful wife and a happy friend then having a clean house!

 

 

*** I am reading Eph 5:24-33 this week and it’s about the  husband love your wife, and wives respect your husbands. So tomorrow I am going to take about partnerships and head of the house issues. So please stay tuned and Thanks for reading***

Spiritual Walk

 

Many times in life we so wish for a do/don’t list. So many times we come across situations where things are grey. We wish and pray that God would clear things up to be more black and white and often times He does!! Praise the Lord. I have been reading and Eph and God gives us a clear DO/DON’T list on how to walk. Things that will help us edify each other.  Conversations that are pleasing to him. A certain mind set that we are to have. Here are some gems I have gleamed from this list. 🙂

 

Ephesians 4:11-16 (paraphrased and simplified)

he gave some : apostles, prophets, evangelist, pastors, and teachers.

why? perfecting of the saints, work of the ministry, edifying of the body of Christ

when? come in the unity of the faith, of the knowledge of the Son of God

that we be no more children,  that we may grow up into him in all things, that we may increase the body unto edifying

 

Eph. 4:17-32

DO

  • Be renewed in the spirit of your mind
  • Put on the new man ,which God created in righteous and true holiness
  • Speak everyman truth with his neighbor
  • Let him labour, working with his hands that which is good
  • Be ye kind one to another
  • Forgive one another, even as God has forgiven you for Christ’s sake

DON’T

  • Walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind
  • Put off the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts
  • Put away lying
  • Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth
  • Grieve not the holy Spirit
  • Put away all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour (excess noise), evil speaking, and malice (desire to inflict injury, harm, or suffering on another)

 

 

***Linked up with Good Morning Girls, My Daily Walk, and Internet Cafe Devotions ***