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My Favorite Mottos

There is no such thing as “can’t”.  It is either “I don’t want to” or “I need help”.

This is one that I quote all the time. When I first started schooling or probably even before that, I realized something. Whenever the kids were saying “I can’t”  it was usually followed with a temper, an explosion of anger. That’s when I first starting making this quote up. I knew when they COULD do something but didn’t want to, I would tell you “yes you can”. Or if they truly needed help then I reminded them that I am here to help you just have to ask.  I am hoping after quoting this constantly for 5 or so yrs now that it will sink in. I am hoping that by the time they are teenagers or young adults that this will have sunk into their brain and maybe make life a little easier.

I can’t magically make ???? appear

My children are stubborn. They get it from their father 😉  I genuinely hate when they are being stubborn, and throwing a fit over something I can’t fix or change. Like if we run out of cereal before the last child has a chance to eat. I’m sorry I can’t make cereal magically appear on the table. Or when a pair of pants is discovered too small and they want new pants RIGHT NOW. I am sorry I can’t magically make pants appear. It is not possible for me to run out either and just buy stuff for them.  Or the other thing is when something is not working. I can’t magically make something work. Sure I can try to make it work and fiddle around with stuff but it”s beyond my control I can’t magically make it work.  Life lesson -sometimes we have to do without. It sucks and not very nice but that’s life.

Live and Learn

This one is mostly for my Hubby and I.  Now that we are adrift and trying to anchor our feet down some I am finding I am using this one more.  You hang around someone thinking they are your friend, only to realize you don’t want them around anymore. Live and learn. You realize you overspend on something. Live and learn so next time, or even as an example to your kids, you’ll know not to spend.  I hope too that I can start using this one on the kids.  For how else are we to learn from our mistakes if we don’t go out and live life!  Life is like education -you gotta do something in order for you to observe the knowledge that’s out there. Sometimes/mostly it’s bad but there are a lot of good out there too.

Homeschool is an extension of our parenting


This one I use constantly when talking about our children’s education choices.  When we first had my daughter it was understood between my husband and I that I would stay-at-home and raise the. Then when she hit 5 I realized that I had to make a decision regarding her schooling. Now I think I have always been drawn to big public school like classrooms. I wanted that in my own home -chalkboards and posters, arts, crafts the works. A big room just for school also filled with books (still waiting on this dream to come 😉  ) But when push came to shove I realized I wasn’t ready to let my little 5/6 yr. old girl go out into the big wide world of school and I still wanted her home with me. I realized that as they all got older – that education is so much more then academics, it is about life skills. Plus they way Hubby and I want to raise our children and what we want to teach them differs from public school.  Homeschooling was never a choice really, it was just an extension of our parenting.

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Mommy Moments

 

3.) You know you’re a Mom when…

  1. you find yourself doing/saying the same thing your mother did or said. Even though you said you’d never.
  2. your DVD or TV becomes the babysitter.
  3. you spend you date night worry about the kids. Even though you know they are good and in capable hands , they are still out of your sight and all these “what if’s” cross your mind.
  4. you see and hear another child throw a temper in the store and think “Praise the Lord that’s not my child….today at lest!”
  5. you jump awake from the dead of night with the slightest whimper of “mom”
  6. you have learned to navigate the hallway at 3a.m. in the dark. only to stub your toe on a toy or step on legos and think “why didn’t I tidy the room before bed”
  7. when your hubby wonders why you can’t hear the screaming kid. That’s because you have successfully tuned them out.
  8. you take every moment to hug and kiss your children no matter how messy they get.
  9. you have multiplied you love with each child.
  10. your heart breaks for children in less loving situations.

 

I am a mom of three and these have been my own personal mommy moments 🙂 I greatly love my children!

What is Success?

A few weeks ago I had a conversation with a friend. She was taking about her in-law’s family. Their 5th boy had a “shotgun” marriage. He had fallen in love with a girl, ended up getting her pregnant, and because of circumstances, had to get married right away.  My first thought was “they (the parents) weren’t very successful in raising their kids right.”

Which really got me thinking : what is success?

Wikipedia says this:

Success may refer to:

The dictionary describes it as :

1.the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors.
2.the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.
3.a successful  performance or achievement:
4.a person or thing that is successful
5.Obsolete . outcome.
Synonyms   achievement, fame, triumph.
SO let’s ask again : when it comes to raising children, how do we know we are successful??
How does each family raise their children to be successful. The above family was not successful in teaching moral purity and abstaining/keeping ones self to marriage. Yet each of the children (save one) all have wonderful spouses and partners. Each and every child was taught to think for himself/herself and all have good paying jobs.  But they are just one family.  Another family that I knew of was very religious, was in fact an independent Baptist family. The lived, breathed, ate the Bible, yet only 1 of the 4 children have a success home life. Another has a good Christian facade but the children are way too sheltered (yes there is a thing as sheltering your children too much). and we won’t even talk about the mess the other 2 children made.
Kinda makes you think doesn’t it?  What is success??  Is it knowing the Bible? Is it living the law of the Bible? Is it getting a good job? Is it being dept free? Is it? Is it? Is it? I think a better question would be : What do I want for my children? How do I train my children to be successful?  Okay that is two questions. 2 excellent questions and ones I can answer!
  1. I want my children to think! Sounds funny but I want my children to be free-thinkers, to step outside the box and learn things on their own. I want them to make their own decisions. I want them to find God or rather have God find them on God’s own time.
  2. I want my children to have good jobs. Not the necessarily the highest paying job but a job they can love (or at least like). A job that will pay bills and have a bit over to spend.
  3. I want my children to find love. This one may be the toughest. What if they find someone that I don’t like :O I will have to remind myself that I am not marrying that person 🙂  What if they “fall out” of love later on during the relationship? I will have to remind myself to have grace during that period. I really want my children to have what my hubby and I have found -a best friend who I want to spend all my time with. A best friend who I can argue with but know that making up after will be bittersweet.
  4. I want my children to be kind and to look after others. I think this is important in this world. I don’t want them to be pushovers (see #1( but I do want them to speak in kindness, and gentleness. I want them to go out and about and have a smile always ready on their lips.

Those are a few of the things I want my children to be and do. My children are young and some things may come up later (sexual purity) but those my hubby and  I have discussed to be used for later conversations with the children.

Thank you for taking the time to listen to my ramblings 🙂  🙂
***linked up with : Unveiled Wife ,

 

Why I Want To Be…..

 

 

4.) If you had to choose a Disney princess to live the rest of your life as…which princess would you choose and why?

 

This was a question poised to me courtesy of Mama’s Losing It blog. I had to call my Daughter , HoneyBear, to come help me. 🙂 She picked Cinderella. Her reasoning (in her own words):

  1. She lives in a big, pretty mansion
  2. She’s in love with a very handsome Prince
  3. She gets a Fairy Godmother.

Such wisdom. I would love a big house, maybe not a mansion but one big enough for a library (wait, I guess that’s the Beast’ mansion he he) . However I already have my handsome prince but it is still nice  for an 9 yr old to dream.

Now, a fairy godmother would be heavenly!!  Someone to pop in now and then and “Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo” away my worries. Or when I need a new dress. Or even someone to have a cup of coffee with when I ma bored 🙂

 

 

Shepherding A Child’s Heart

I am always on the lookout for parenting books. Especially Christian parenting books. I might not buy them but just to read the excerpt in the back or flip through a few pages to see what they have to offer.  You see, my Hubby and I have a distinct set of parenting ideas we stick to already and I try to find books that help me accomplish that. 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell is one of those books. I saw Shepherding a while back and then again a few days ago. So I bought it.

WOW! That is all I can say. Normally a Christian parenting book doesn’t affect me. This one though cut me to the core. I never realized I had so many issues (or rather I knew but thought them safely hidden) that would come boiling to the surface. I don’t like this book. I don’t like, what I felt, was extreme Christianity. I don’t like absolute authority. I have always felt there is a fine line between talking with your kids and getting them involve in their own lives. Letting them be the miniature people that they are. Verses what I say goes. I am the parent,  just listen and obey.

I am going to give you my review now. ** If I offend anyone please accept my apologizes but know that this is truly how I feel about this book and life itself.   🙂

REVIEW

When I  first saw this book, what drew me was the title : Shepherding a child’s heart.  One of my ideas as a parent is to get to the heart of my children. I am always trying to get them to talk with/to me. I want them to honestly tell me what they are feeling. I want miniature people in my house not little robots that obey my every whim. So I though this book would help me guide my child’s heart in an honest, godly direction.

The first few chapters really spoke to my heart.

“The only safe guide is the Bible” pg xvii (intro)

“The parent is the child’s guide” pg xix (intro)

“The heart is the control center of life. Parents often get sidetracked with behavior. If your goal in discipline is changed behavior, it is easy to understand why this happens. The thing that alerts you to your child’s need for correction is his behavior. Behavior irritates and thus calls attention to itself. Behavior becomes you focus. You think you have corrected when you have changed unacceptable behavior to behavior your sanction and appreciate.” pg 4 I like these quotes. How often do we focus on the “you are being bad” instead of why are you acting this way.   “We demand changed behavior and never address the heart that drives the behavior” pg 5

Then he brings in God.

“Everyone is essentially religious” pg 20

“All people have God’s clear revelation of truth, but wicked people suppress the truth. In the language of Roms 1, your children either respond by faith or they suppress the truth in unrighteousness.” pg 20

“They are subtle idols of the heart” pg 22

These are some of the quotes that spoke to me. Our children need God. Our children have a heart of their own and they eventually need to find God, and what God means to them. I guess I don’t believe in immersing children in religion. I believe that we should let our children know there is a God, that he created the world, that he has a set of love letters, rules, and laws meant to govern us, Then when they children are older they can choose themselves which direction to take.

The next chapter: “You’re in Charge” is when it really gets on my nerves. I have come to the realization that I have a problem with authority. I don’t like someone ruling my life completely, letting someone tell me how to live my life, or who to visit or not visit. That kinda hits a nerve with me.  We are free creatures under God and I believe God has given us a world in which to live. Yes, there may be restrictions and things we ought not to do but that is a person choice and his alone to make. That is between a person and his God. How does this tie into children? Children are free people. Children have a right to decide things, They have a little mind and should be allowed to use it. Parents are there to guide the children. Make them realize that some things in life are not good, that there is a path to take in life, that we must get along with others. And that is why reaching their hearts are so important.

“If you are going to shepherd your children, you must understand what makes them tick” pg 33

Anyway I could go on and on about this book and maybe I’ll write more in a later post but for today this is all. This little book has a few gems of wisdom in it but overall it is way to extremist Christian for me.

Mother’s Day Tea

Mother’s Day was Sun. May 13,2012

I wanted to do something special with them to help celebrate.

So I had a fancy Tea Party / Lunch

The Fancy Setting

This is my Daughter’s fancy tea cup that she let me use for the special occasion!

The Feast

This is the Menu. We had butterscotch pudding (Hubby had jello) , biscuits with butter and jam , lemon squares, and we had hot chocolate to drink.

Finall A PIC!! These are my children and I.
HoneyBear is sitting by me.
Captain Jr. is sitting across from me.
SuperHero is sitting across from HoneyBear

Testing the Child

We use Christian Light Education or CLE for our home school.

The children and I really like this curriculum. My daughter, Honey Bear, really struggles with Math though and we might be changing it up but that is a different story. The way these Lightunits are set up is that they are divided into 3 sections. After each section is a quiz, then self test, and lastly a final or over-all test to see what they have learned from the Lightunit..

The one thing I have learned and appreciated was that we as homeschoolers/stay-at-home moms have a unique situation. We can take the time to learn about our children. We can learn about their likes, their dislikes, their emotion. basically what makes them tick.  That carries over to their school as well. We can observe them, ask questions and get a good feel if they are retaining and learning the work.  If we do this are test necessary then?

My Answer: sorta 🙂 Yes, I know what kind of answer is that!!  well let me list both reasons why they should or shouldn’t be tested.

Why they SHOULD be tested

  • It is part of the curriculum
  • It helps me see what they missed or are struggling with
  • builds skills for later

Why they should NOT be tested

  • nobody wants to do it
  • If you attach a percent (for elementary levels) in could result in physiological problems for some kids 😉  example: instead of striving to do better work they strive for being the best.
  • Personally I don’t think children need to be put through that kind of stress

 

Anyway those are MY PERSONAL reason. Let me tell you what I do: I do test the children on their quizzes. Simple 2 page easy quiz to see if they have maintained the info. Then we go on. As to the self-test sometimes they do, sometimes not -depending if we have time or not. Then comes the final. I usually give it to the child and have them do it. Sometimes they forget things and we will talk about it, prob their brain a bit. When they are done, I go through it but DON”T score it. I then take the wrong answers and discuss it with the kids.  Questions like “do you really think this means this or that? ” Why did you write that” “Does x+y really =a? no? well let’s add together” Those question tell me more about what the child was thinking. It helps me know and understand what they are retaining and if they even like the subject matter.

I think tests give them skills needed to study information. It gives their brain a chance to remember stuff. Later when children are older(teenagers) I will definitely be making their work harder and will start scoring. But for now we will let children be children and work on skills more then the all-mighty score 🙂